This Time Next Week ....

This time next week I'll probably be saying "oh no, only another a week or so before I start my new job ... eeeeeek" or something of that ilk. Yes, after being at home either pregnant or looking after the result of the aforementioned pregnacy I am finally hanging up my marigolds and returning to the workplace (well for 2 days a week anyway).

After much pressure from the sadly dwindling bank balance and immense pressure on my brain from too much Fireman Sam/Bob the Builder/Lazytown, I decided to take a little look at the job market to see what it had to offer me and more importantly what I had to offer it. I rejected outright the more obvious jobs displayed in the Runcorn Weekly News on the grounds that I really didn't qualify as a "busty babe" (telephone chat lines are quite popular apparantly in this region), well I suppose I am busty but "babe" naaaah and opted for the far more heady heights of Payroll Administrator. Anyhoo, I actually got an interview (hurrah!), I discovered this whilst scorching my scalp with my hair straighteners. The phone rang in the bedroom at 9.30 am and thinking that it would be my gorgeous mother checking up on me (we have both been a tad clingy since dad passed away) I let Luke answer it.

Luke "Hello, who is it?"
Me "Say hello to nanny darling, go on"
Luke "I just did, Helllooooooo, what????? oh, not nanny, right"
Me (now getting a bit stressed as I am trying to unravel both myself and hair from now meltingly hot straighteners) "Luke pass me the phone"
Luke "No, it's not nanny, I think it's Stephanie" (from Lazytown)
Me "Let mummy have the phone please darling"
Luke "Oh go on then, they're getting a bit boring now anyway"
Me "Hello"
My Future Boss "Hello it's Jane Mansfield would you like an interview"
Me "Yes Please" (now completely mortified and wanting to pass out with heat exhaustion and sheer embarassment)

So, I then had to decide on what to wear for said interview as the last three and a half years have been spent in clothes consisting of inexplainable stains and comfortable shoes. But, good excuse to go shopping for girl clothes. Off I trotted and I must say that shopping for clothes with a toddler makes you very quick and decisive as you have approximately 30 minutes before the boredom sets in. I managed to find a cubicle big enough for me and Luke (plus the results of my trolley dash around the aisles of Asda). I tried on a few combinations of skirts/tops/jackets and Luke seemed very impressed (if not confused by mummys new image). I decided on what to buy just in time for me to turn around to see that Luke had unslid the latch on the cubicle and I was now in full view of Asda's clothing check out with my head stuck inside my t-shirt and old knickers and bra on display. Nice!!! Shriek!!!

I have to admit here that I haven't actually worn heels and tights since I last worked (not the combination together anyway). I got through two pairs before leaving the house after attempting to put them on like jeans (not a very safe thing to do, you tend to catapult yourself across the room) which is why when I turned up for the interview (on a very hot day two weeks ago) I must have resembled a cat on very slippery kitchen tiles. Dignified was not the look I achieved folks. I emerged from my boiling hot car, tights instantly gluing themselves to my legs, I skittered across the (very busy) car park and into a very slippery reception area (marble floor). I attracted some very bemused looks.

The interview went suprisingly well, I managed to muster some very articulate answers to some very (lets face it folks it's only 15 hours a week) full on questions. I guess though, I thought I had blown it when we were shaking hands at the end of the interview and after my future boss commenting on the very hot weather I replied with "yes, the last thing you need in weather like this is a reinforced gusset (doh!!!).