When is a Christian not a Christian?......

Ok, apparantly the answer is when they don't go to church every Sunday. I've been sort of putting off posting this as I know that religion can be a pretty sticky subject to talk about. I was going to post something really witty about Luke and how when he met his pre-school teacher for the first time the other day he said "I know a really bad word but I'm not going to say it" (it rhymes with rollocks btw - don't know where he got it from but I'm blaming my mum). This was after I threatened him with confiscating his favourite little red fire engine that Uncle Eric and Aunt Bev gave him if he dared to say it, so he was pretty adamant he wasn't going to say it, but I must admit he did go on about it a tad too much to his new teacher.

So, here we have it (serious head on). I've started to go church (well for the past two Sunday's), it's something I have never really done on a regular basis as an adult. Both Bill (my brother) and I went to the local church school (Parish) and consequently we were always in Church every other week (the next door Parish Church, you know Jenn, I used to like defacing the grave stones). Mum and dad brought us up as Christian's, there is no doubt about that whatsoever, we were aware of The Ten Commandments, and were taught to treat our neighbours as we would like to be treated ourselves (obviously this went out of the window when they wouldn't give us our ball back at which point door bells were rung and we scarpered to hide round the corner of the dentists and laugh).

Luke has been enrolled in the Parish school for his pre-school and also his infant school next September. I decided that as he will be going to the church on a regular basis I should really take a more active role so that he will be familiar with the vicar and know what is involved in the service on a Sunday. Also, he hasn't been christened yet!! I know, it sounds dreadful but it was something we decided to do when he was a bit older and more aware of it ( now I'm dreading it as I just know he will probably say something completely inappropriate at a very sensitive time (see first paragraph).

So off I trotted to church (mum looked after Luke). Richard tends to work most Sunday's so I was flying solo. Got to admit I was a little bit taken aback. I always remember Parish church as being very regal with a really impressive choir. Not anymore my friend. The back pews have been ripped out to be replaced with comfy setees and coffe tables, there is a fully fitted kitchen and bathroom and the choir is no more. The vicar is called John and his wife has just been ordained so they sort of do a double handed service (bit like Richard & Judy Aunty Norma). The collection plate has been replaced with a request for payments to be made preferably by Standing Order directly from your bank but if you wish to give money on the day then please use an envelope (that way you can pay more and your "neighbour" won't know. Okkkaaaay!!!

Got to say the service was pretty good, the hymns were quite funky too. I enjoyed that bit, although I still can't pray on demand, really struggle with that and always have, I start to wander off and think about what chores I need to do at home and whether I left the cat flap open etc, bit like being asked to pee on demand I always sieze up and feel apologetic afterwards. Although, I do find it easy to say a prayer when I need to (and not just when I'm caught speeding), truly, like at dad's funeral and when we laid his ashes at the cemetary. Heck, I even prayed the other day when I trod on a snail by accident.

Afterwards John (the vicar) and his wife Marion stopped me and asked me my name, commenting how they hadn't seen me before. We had a lovely chat, I explained about Luke and asked about a christening. My friend Nikki was also at church that day with her mum (devout church goer), she also asked about a christening for her baby boy. I must admit I was a little shocked by Marion's reaction. We were told that Phil (Nikki's husband) had to start going to church every week, that there was no point in having our children christened if we didn't mean what we said at the service as otherwise it is just us having a "nice dress and party afterwards". And so she went on and on and on ..... .

Nikki had her come around to the house yesterday evening to discuss the possibility of her baby being christened. Now, Nikki was married at the church and her eldest child was christened there also (by John), her mum and dad go to church every week and the family are well know by them. But still, Nikki spent about two hours having Marion chastise her and her hubby for not being regular church goers and suggested that maybe a Thanksgiving Service be the way forward and then maybe talk about a proper christening at a later date. Nikki reminded her that her dad was terminally ill with cancer and that her husband's mum was also terminally ill with cancer and that she would like them to be there for the christening so really, time is of the essence. "I'm sure your dad would be just as happy to watch from heaven" was the reply. Not really a great comfort is it. She said that it would be ridiculous to have their child christened and then for Phil not to attend church after the event as it would make a mockery of the whole thing. Richard commented to me that it is the child that is being christened and not Phil, baptism is a sacrement that washes away original sin not contracts you through guilt to attend a building on a weekly basis. Although perhaps, that won't help with the collections!

She is coming over to our house in a couple of days time for a similar discussion about Luke being christened and I'm getting a bit concerned about what she is going to say. Dad always felt that it is how you live your life for the majority of the time that matters, anyone can go to church for an hour or so every week and then they could be complete swines for the rest of the time. Richard and I both feel that way. I don't think that God would want people coming to church under duress, he would surely prefer people to live their lives as Christians and maybe attend church as they feel they need to.

By the way for the record, all quotes are as actually said.

Apologies for the serious tone of this posting - normal service will be resumed shortly.