Humiliation!

Stood in the supermarket queue yesterday after picking up a few bits, the cashier had just zapped my purchases and started to pack them for me when I noticed she had a peculiar look on her face, one that I can only describe as pitying. What the hell is wrong with her? I thought, then it all became very clear..... in her hand she had a packet of contraceptives and a multi pack of "Joint Care" vitamins!! Speaks volumes really doesn't it. Bloody 40!!! Mind you, at least it wasn't as bad as the lady in the queue next to me, her purchases being a pack of condoms and a huge ball of string (the mind boggles).

Just the one thanks

Have been feeling really very broody lately, think it is the combination of cousin Steph having her beautiful little girl and looking at all the gorgeous pics and videos (thanks to Uncle Eric) also, me reaching the ripe old age of 40 soon (surely not?) and Lukey becoming so independant (well ok, he wipes his own bum). Richard and I have been discussing whether or not to go for it, and have had talks with Luke to see how he would feel about a sibling (the jury is still out), and still we are not sure what to do..... then the phone went about an hour ago

It was my childhood friend Bev, who is now a qualified midwife and mum to 4 great children, the oldest being 21 and the youngest 4. We haven't talked for ages and it is always great to catch up, turns out she is pregnant again (yes, at 40), she is about 15 weeks gone. She had some bleeding a few weeks ago and went to have it checked out, the sonographer asked if there was a history of multiple births in the family (not really) .... she is having TRIPLETS!!!!! It was originally QUADS but unfortunately she had lost one (hence the bleeding). I was so delighted for her even though she is still somewhat shocked, but in typical Bev fashion she is taking it all in her stride. Anyway, the cause for my concern is that according to Bev (qualified midwife remember) the older you get the more the chance of multiple births increase.

Now, I really do have to think very carefully.

Big School and Fish and Chips

Richard and I went to Luke's new school Thursday night (well, the one he starts in September), it was for all the parents so that we could meet the Headteacher and watch a presentation on how the school operates, what they expect of the kiddywinks etc. It was really good, and the school is amazing.

We were originally going to send him to Victoria Road, and he was all geared up for it (it is literally just across from our back gate) but after speaking to a couple of parents whose kids go there already we decided it wasn't what we wanted for Luke. The Reception class is really big, there is also a problem with kids tending to get ignored in favour of other kids who are behaving really badly and also, they have no playing field so there is talk of the school getting closed down (how awful is that).

We had a talk with his current teachers who suggested that we take a look around the school next door. It is a brand spanking new building, very clean and airy and Luke already knows a few of the teachers as they come and teach his class French and read to them. They also get to go the assembly there a few times a month so he is familiar with the building. No contest really. Also, most of his classmates are going there so the transition shouldn't be too traumatic.

When we got back home I was too tired to cook, and do you know what I did? I put Luke to bed and went to the chippy, we had cod and chips with mushy peas. Very calorific, not at all healthy but it tasted sooooooo good I didn't even feel guilty.

Luke is brokenhearted that his little "girlfriend" Lucy isn't going to Halton Lodge, he turned his little tear stained face to me yesterday when he found out and said "but she is pregnant with my child!" WHAAAATTTT!!!!!!!!!! Where on earth has he got that from????

Lovely!

Just dropped Lukey off at preschool, it was sooooo lovely to be there at 9.00am when all his little mates were arriving, I didn't realise how much I missed all that stuff. It was great seeing the mums and chatting with them again, I even enjoyed listening to the Alpha mum discussing how little Ryan was now able to count to thirty in French (Luke can do up to 20 btw and knows at least two different songs, but I didn't mention that as I don't want to appear too competitive).

I spent the entire day with mum yesterday, that was so great as lately I felt that the only time we saw each other was when I was dropping Luke off for an hour while I did the supermarket run - he hates the weekly shop, sigh, how things have changed ....

Luke aged 2:

"Mummy are we go shopping?"
"Yes sweetpea"
"Ohhhh great, whooppeeeee" (Grabs his shoes)
"mummy, put them on quickly" (dashes out to the car and waits hopping from foot to foot)

Luke aged nearly 4:

"Oh mummy, have we got to go shopping?"
"Yes Luke we do"
"Right then drop me off at nannas" (grabs his shoes)
"Come on mummy, the sooner we go, the sooner we can get back" (dashes to the car, opens the door and hops in clutching his toolkit)

Sighhhhhh......

So, I purchased a new bed for him which was delivered yesterday. He was very uncertain about it all as it is not a kiddy bed but a lovely single divan which has loads more room for him to shuffle about in but, saying that it did look awfully high up from where he stood.

Mum and I dismantled his old wooden cot bed which is when I felt like sobbing, as wasn't it only yesterday that we put it all together to form a gorgeous cot and then with such pride took the bars off to form a lovely little bed when he turned 2? Then we put the legs on the new one and wheeled it into place in the corner of his room. It looks beautiful and very squishy.

Luke meanwhile had been very "helpful" with his hardhat, goggles, drill, hammer and saw and felt justified when it was all done in having a good old bounce on it. He was delighted when we took him to buy new bedding to fit it, and even though we had a near meltdown when I refused to let him have the pink barbie duvet set (he fancies her!!!!????) it all went swimmingly and he came home with a blue car patterned set and one with superheroes on it.

Off he popped to bed last night and Richard put (very wisely) his old mattress on the floor next to his new bed in case we had a rolling off the bed incident. He snuggled down, went to sleep with only two curtain calls. Relief!

I checked on him when I got up to use the toilet at about 5.00am and he was all snugged up, curled into a little ball, snoring his head off ....... on the floor on his old mattress! Bless!!!!

Lately I've been ....

So, I spent the last three months working at the instrumentation company ...... I survived (just about), they wanted me to stay on with the idea that I would become permanent staff next year but I declined their kind offer on the basis that I would rather boil my head in oil than spend another day there. Honestly, the office politics were unbelievable, so many chiefs and hardly any indians (well, they had me I suppose). I think that I have spent too long at home being a mummy, I just can't cope with idiots anymore, I used to be able to just let it wash over me when people were being arseholes but now, it really gets to me. I don't know what I am going to do when Luke starts full time school in September (!!), I really want to get back to working but I don't think I could cope with being back in an office all day. Maybe I just need to find the right place.

One of the things that got me down so badly was the fact that I had a spell about a month in to the contract when Luke got really sick, he had both eyes infected, a vomiting bug and also really bad hayfever, all within a couple of weeks. Of course, I couldn't put him into nursery so had to take time off with him (unpaid). I got called into the office by the girl child who was my supervisor and told that people (her) weren't happy with the amount of time I had taken off (4 days in total) and that things had to improve. I mentioned to her as calmly as I could that I really didn't choose to have to take time off (unpaid) as I still had to pay the nursery even when Luke wasn't in and that there really wasn't a lot I could do about it, if he is ill he will always be my priority (went down like a bag of sick). Ho hum.

I did enjoy the challenge though, you know, learning new stuff, realising that my brain was still able to function at a higher level, knowing that I was doing a good job (no, really, I did actually do a good job). Must admit though, I did find it bloody hard work balancing it all out, don't know how the heck other people do it (Jenn). I was working 8.30 until 12.30 five days a week, had to drop Luke off at 8.00am. By the time I had finished work and picked him up at 1.00pm we were both knackered, moody and very irritable (not a good combination). Then of course, I had to do the chores which meant I didn't really have a lot of quality time with Luke ...... really crappy. We had to try and cram it all in at weekends!!

So I decided last Wednesday to call it a day, I'd fullfilled the three month contract and chose to not extend it. Feel so relieved. Luke is back to his 9.00 - 11.30am sessions which don't include school holidays (yay), he is really happy about it, we can get back to doing all the fun stuff again.

There you go, now you know where I've been.